It honestly makes me really sad to see how much damage regressive ideas in the lgbtq community have done. How an entire generation of people figuring out their identities have been torn down by it. So here's a reminder: all of you are valid.
The community you interact with online does not represent the community as a whole. The lgbtq community is not an extension of online spaces, it is much older and has always been diverse.
Transmed ideals are the same ones tranphobes have used to gatekeep us from care and acceptance. They are transphobic. Period.
If your identity is uncommon or "weird" that's okay! It doesn't make it fake.
Those identities are not harming the community in any way. People already don't take us seriously, they already look for a way to invalidate us as a whole. The community is supposed to fight for the acceptance of all of us, not just the first two letters.
This applies to the trans community as well. Having an uncommon gender identity is absolutely fine and they have always had a place in the community.
Being trans is not a mental illness, gender dysphoria should not be a diagnosis. And most of the trans people you will meet offline understand that!
If you don't have dysphoria that's okay! You are a valuable part of the community, and belong here as much as any dysphoric trans person.
Nonbinary identities have always existed! In many non-western cultures they were valued and accepted. The idea of there being only two genders is a western colonial ideal.
Nonbinary people are part of the trans community, we always have been! Don't exclude us!
It's fine to be nonbinary and not identify as trans! If you don't feel like that fits you it's okay. But-
If you genuinely thought nonbinary people weren't included as trans, that trans people were only binary, or for whatever reason you weren't allowed to identify as trans. Know that you are allowed to, that you are welcome and have a place here.
If you don't identify as trans because you don't feel like you match the Trans Experience. Remember that the trans community is incredibly diverse! There may be a similar trans narrative that's common, but there are plenty of trans people, including binary trans people, who don't fit that stereotype at all. There are so many unique experiences in the community because we are all different! Your experience is welcome here!
If you're scared to identify as trans because of transmeds. I completely understand, they certainly can make it daunting in online spaces. But they don't represent the community, and they attack and invalidate nonbinary people regardless of whether they identify as trans or not. Don't listen to their rhetoric! Choose whether or not to identify as trans because it feels right to you.
Neopronouns are wonderful! They don't make things too complicated, they aren't invalid even if you came up with them yourself! All words are made up! We create new words where there's a gap in our vocabulary, that's the beauty of language development. If we never came up with new words how would we be able to talk about things like modern technology, things that didn't exsist before? How would we have been able to talk at all? Neopronouns as a concept aren't even new, they've existed since at least the 1800s!
Presentation does not equal gender identity! In no way shape or form! Binary gender roles are made up! Clothing, hair styles, interests, mannerisms, any other typically gendered thing? Not real! Boys can wear dresses, like pink, be quiet. Girls can wear suits, like blue, and be loud. Nonbinary people don't have to align ourselves somewhere. It's all fine! Do what you like, dress how you like. And if you're trans it doesn't invalidate you. Fighting the strict binary and gendering of everything around us is what the trans community is all about.
To pan people. Your identity is not biphobic. You are not required to choose bi as a label, be yourself! If pan feels right to you that's a good thing! Your identity is not transphobic either. People who say that based on outdated, misinformed definitions don't define you, and they dont define being pan! Your identity is not unnecessary! It's right for you, you use it, that makes it necessary.
Bi people! Our language isn't reductive! It's okay to be bi. If you're bi and attracted to men and women only? Great! If you're attracted to nonbinary genders only, or a mix of binary and nonbinary, any other combo? That's fantastic. And if you're attracted to more than two genders, or even all genders? You are still valid. You are allowed to be bi if it feels right to you, you don't have to choose pan or poly or anything else!
Aspecs? You are wonderful. Our erasure is not privilege. We are a part of the lgbt community, a valuable part of it. It's not invasive to expect inclusion from your community.
Your identity and the labels you choose should be for you, not to please others. You are lovely, however you exist.
(Please feel free to add on! I wrote about what I could think of, mostly what I had experience with.)